Return Policy

The artist purchases a brush, a small canvas, and oil from the art store. He keeps the receipt. He soaks the receipt in salt water, bakes it dry, soaks it in the oil, and places it in the cup of oil as a wick.

He holds a spoon over the cup and burns the wick. The smoke collects in the bowl of the spoon, making lamp-black.

The artist mixes the lamp-black with water to make ink. He loads his brush with the ink and uses it to paint on the canvas, making more lamp-black as needed by burning down the wicks.

On the canvas, he paints a portrait of a gift certificate. The gift certificate is for the store he bought his supplies from. The value of the gift certificate is the cost on the original receipt.

The gift certificate is sold for face value. All proceeds are used to sustain the cycle.

Unskilled Labor

A janitor presses a block of wood into a disc sander, spraying sawdust everywhere. The janitor then collects and packages the sawdust to be sold. The price is set based on hourly production: however much the janitor can produce and pack in one hour costs $13, minimum wage in San Francisco.

Revenue from sawdust sales is used to pay the janitor. When the wood runs out, the janitor is dismissed from the job.


An enigmatic stranger by the name of Mr. Mirror asked me to help him with his new internet radio program, the Infinite Mirror Sleepytime Podcast. Apparently he can’t sleep unless he knows other people are falling asleep listening to him talk about them falling asleep while listening to him. The man was so polite and his project so strange I just had to help him.